Since that day..

I dun know what else that I can do. It seems like all the things in this world being blue. Since that day, everything like stop moving. I can't think. I can't moving. I stop believing. I even stop to feel something. Cuz I know, when I start to feel, I will feel those hurts for so many times again, that always hurts in the same place in many times I can't count.

They say, it will pass away. All I have to do is just let it go, being busy to keep happy. But how can I do that?While my heart is still in the pain, still bleeding cause something that call "LOVE". How can I be happy, while knowing he still sit in there, still have a big room in my heart?How can I??

And now, I'm feeling failed. I dun have a great record in my studies, I dun have a lot of friends in here cuz I can't get out from diz silly room. Not because I dun want. But because I CAN'T..!!I can't get out from here n face out world in there. No, I can't. I really can't do dat. Sorry, I can't.

Yes, I know..I'm letting them down. I make them disappointed. But pliiiss..I only need some room n time for me. At least to makes me have some power to think that I can get up and face the world again..

I've lost my soul, I've lost my love, I've been lost everything that I want and I need in this world. I lost him.=(

I know I'm still have to be grateful, even I lost my world, I still have my family n my best friends that always ready to caught me whenever I'm falling down. I know it. And I realize about it. But still..I miss him..I want him..I need him..

I know I'm selfish, but that's what I feel. I dun want push him to be with me. But I just want him to know that, I love him so.

A Man Who I Loved..

A man who I loved..

He loves blue,

and also something new..

A man who I loved..

Will laught cuz comedy,

freeze when action,

and have tears for drama..

A man who I loved..

Pretend to be brave,

while he is not..

A man who I loved..

Remember even the smallest thing about me..

He seems arrogant,

but he is not..

A man who I loved..

He is smart..

A man who I loved..

Not only trying,

but also getting in..

A man who I loved..

Keep playing on his part..

Manly like they all want to see

childish in front of me..

A man who I loved..

would turn his head off,

take a deeply breath

even can without a words,

he just go,

and walk away..

A man who I loved..

Always take it slow,

in front of storm,

that can crush his soul..

A man that I loved..

So far away,

didn't know if he had the same way..

A man who I loved..

What else can I say about you?

A man who I loved..

I love you..

In A Very Unusual Way..

In a very unusual way,

one time I needed you..

In a very unusual way,

you were my friend,

maybe it last a day,a

maybe it last an hour,

but somehow it will never end..

In a very unusual way,

I think I'm in love with you..

In a very unusual way,

I want to cry

something inside me goes weak

something inside me surrenders

and you're the reason why

you're the reason why..

You don't know what you've do to me...!!!

You don't have a clue..

You can't tell what it's like to be me..

looking at you..

In a very unusual way,

I owe what I am to you..

Special to me in my life..

Since the first day that I met you..

HOW COULD I FORGET YOU??

Once you had touch my soul..

In a very unusual way..

You've made..

Me..

Whole..

Out Here On My Own

Sometimes I wonder,

Where I've been?

Who I am?

Do I fit in?

Make belivin'

is hard alone

out here on my own..

We're always provin'

who we are

always reachin'

for that rising star

to guide me far

and shine me home

out here on my own..

When I'm down

and feelin' blue

I close my eyes

so I can see you

"Oh baby, be strong to me"

"Baby, belong to me"

"Help me through"

"Help me need you"..

Until the morning sun appears

making light of all my fears

I dry the tears

I've never shown

out here on my own..

But when I'm down

and feelin' blueI close my eyes

so I can see you

"Oh baby, be strong to me"

"Baby, belong to me"

"Help me through"

"Help me need you"..

Sometimes I wonder,

Where I've been..

Who am I..

Do I fit in..

I may not win

but I can't be thrown..

out here on my own..

out here..

on my own..

Ost. Fame

My Prayer

God,
U know my heart..
U know my life..
U know me better than anyone else in this world..

U know who I loved,
U know who I hated,
U know all those people in my life..

U give me strength, to pass all my bad days
U give me hope, when I felt there is no hope in everywhere..
U give me love, when I felt no one loves me like I want..
U always around me, when I felt I need u..
U still beside me, even sometimes I forget about u..

U hold my hands,
U hug me tights,
To comfort me,
To show that u love me..

God,
Thank you for everything that u have done to me
Thank you for always being near me and never leave me
Thank you for all the glory that happen to me
Thank you, Lord..

God,
I know I'm bad,
I know I'm not good at all

When I saw my life,
I realize that I makes u cry
When I live my life,
I hurt ur heart million times

Sorry God,
For everything I've done
Sorry God,
I always let u down..

Sorry God..

God,
Help me to be better in ur ways..
For every single days..
For every single moments..
For every single times..

Help me God,

Amen..

-m-

Between Me and HIM

When I was young, they always say that I have to pray..With pray, I can talk to HIM, to my GOD..And I pray..
When I'm adult, I still keep my pray..Still keep believing..
When I'm grown up, I lost my faith..I stop my pray..So, I stop talking to HIM..

When I was young, I always pray for my mom..
wish to keep her in health..
wish to keep her from bad..

When I'm adult, pray is not the priority..
But I keep to pray..
Say thanks for something good..
And "judge" HIM for something bad..
But I keep believing..
Even never seeing..

When I'm grown up..
I lost everything..
I lost my faith..
I stop to pray..
I don't want talk to HIM..

Days by days..
Years by years..
Has passed away..

Happy outside..
Empty inside..
Try to look back where it start..

Now realize that I was wrong..

He always know..
what I want..
what the best..
what the worst..

All I have to do..
Is just ASK HIM..

He touched me with gently..
No need words..
No need anything..

Just have to believing..
even without seeing..

TerSENYUMlaahhh.. (^___^)

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun hati mu galau
dan hidup mu kacau..

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun jiwa mu hampa
dan terasa tak ada

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun banyak rintangan
yang terus menghadang

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun kau jatuh
dan terluka..

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun kau tak mampu bertahan
dan tak mampu menahan..

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun kau tersesat
dan sendirian..

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun berat
dan kau tak mampu melangkah..

TerSENYUMlah..
Meskipun diri mu bergetar
dan air mata mu keluar..

Tetap terSENYUMlah..
karna hanya dengan SENYUM..
diri mu sadar dan tau..
kalau kau akan baik-baik saja..

TerSENYUMlah..
*(^_______^)*